Has it really been a month since my last post?
It’s been so action packed that another update of my About Page will be required by and for Independence Day!
The end of the divorce is now so close that I can touch it. Everything is done except the last final financial details. Fingers crossed I will be able to close that chapter by June or sooner.
I’m still living in the same house where I grew up. I’m still here alone at the moment but won’t be for much longer. Little by little, or really more like bunch by bunch over the years, I have gone through Mom’s stuff more than once, gleaning and disposing of a little more each time. I sold the house last week so now it’s the final go-around, the last long good-bye with a firm completion date of June 30, 2022.
While this old house had already grown slowly emptier of both life and associated stuff, there will be one long and enduring last hurrah over the next couple of months. I am inviting friends to visit me here for a final nostalgic experience and to take with them, if they wish, keepsakes from my family in whatever form they wish. Some have already asked for photos, of which there are plenty, especially of all of us in our younger days. There are still books, antiquated records (albums and singles for which I understand there may be some recent collector demand), furniture, paintings and lots of different kinds of fogyish decorative items that Mom treasured but which mean next-to-nothing to me since I’ve already been through everything that might.

I will soon be descending on my kids in Kalamazoo. My sojourn there will start in the basement of Mini-me and The Evil Genius. I had to twist her arm to let me stay there for at least a month. Though I gave the go ahead to her suggestion to find out from her friends what apartment complexes in the local area they might recommend for me, I would prefer to have more time to look around the area than just the one week I had last Thanksgiving. I spent a good part of that time driving around just the very limited local area where my kids live. Around Covid it was not easy to really get in touch with “my people” but I was able to get a little better “lay of the land” in the suburb of Portage where they now live.
As I have done every time I have moved to a different state or a different part of the same state (which didn’t happen at all before age 50 and this will be the third such move in the 16 years since then), I started by popping into the usual places where I expect to spend some time and/or find “my people.” These days my people are generally retired or near retirement age, which is not the same for everyone. Most of them have at least one college degree but all of them are intellectually curious about their surroundings and the world at large. I like to have interesting and often challenging conversations and I always look to learn or hear about something new.
I have found that the best places to meet “my people” have been libraries, civic centers and educational institutions. These places have hooked me up with different groups, and sometimes even individuals, who could introduce me to or guide me through opportunities to pursue different interests. In Portage, the Civic Center, library and Senior Center are all within walking distance of each other. It was too cold and blustery for this “weather wimp” to walk in November, so I drove.
At City Hall I got a map of the historical sites. When I drove around to check them out I was not impressed at the time because they didn’t stand out much from their surroundings. I might have had a better experience if I had had in hand what I recently discovered on the city’s website – Portage Historical District Trading Cards! I also discovered The Celery Flats Historical Area, with stops near several relocated and restored buildings on the paved for driving road through the Portage Creek Bicentennial Park. I didn’t spend much time at the library or the Senior Center due to Covid and also to the fact they were both at the same time undergoing a planned physical metamorphosis. By the time I get back there, there will be a brand new Senior Center and an expanded library. I consider both of those to be propitious portents of other discoveries and connections I will make there, assuming they will remain safely open.
Portage in particular, and the surrounding area in general, seem to have all the other places where I have spent a lot of my time in retirement, and then some. For my retail therapy, I found my old favorites, including but not limited to Sam’s Club, Costco, Dollar Tree, Aldi, Target (which I have dearly missed due to present lack of convenience and Covid), Barnes & Noble and some potential new favorites that I’d either never been to or were not convenient to where I lived in TN and Torrance.
I know there are several movie theaters in the area, and like most of us I have not been to one in years by now. As a matter of fact I think that last time I was in one was when I saw the Beyonce version of the Lion King there with my girls! I know I’ll have to adjust to new grocery stores, again, but have already come close to determining what and where my new favorite coffee bar might be. Like most “college towns”, I guess, I found a plethora of those spots to try, along with a plethora of microbreweries of which it will take more time, if ever, to find a favorite.
I will also have to find new doctors and other services which may both involve starting a new fitness routine. I’m glad I’ll be going back to Michigan in warmer weather. I plan to bring my old and much moved beach cruiser bike to try some of the rides planned through Portage Parks and Rec and the Senior Center as soon as I get the old girl fixed and cleaned up. Almost last and not close to least but I don’t want to take up more time, I have found that the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute (OLLI) at Western Michigan University (WMU) will be offering in person classes with graduate students as instructors. This seems like an ideal way to acclimate myself to both the group and the campus as I start over again with some of my favorites among “my people.”
Portage is, like Torrance, a standard concrete suburb. Unlike Los Angeles, I would not classify Kalamazoo as a big city, though it is close to a beach that fronts Lake Michigan instead of the Pacific Ocean. Since I am more of a mountains and forests kind of gal, having easy access to a large body of water is not high on the list of features I’d need to have wherever I live. Been there, done that, enough already.
11 replies on “What’s Ending So I Can Make the Next Start?”
You’ve gotten a lot done and I think it’s also wise to be thinking about what you want your future to look like and who will be included in that future. I remember counting the days until the court appearance before the judge to sign my divorce decree. Here in Washington you sit in a huge courtroom with others waiting to have cases heard and are called up one by one. I had no idea it was going to be like that. It was surreal. When I walked out of the building I was relieved but also numb that 34 years were gone in less than 5 minutes.
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I’m sure your experience was pre-pandemic. Given that I was in CA at the time the divorce was processing I can say I’m glad the court in TN was already using Zoom. Since they were in that backwater backwoods state I’d guess I have the pandemic to thank for not having to go back there in person.
I’m also glad that the numbness had already passed by then.
Finally, because of all these pending plans and long-awaited endings, I am now often (thought not always) enthusiastic about trying and doing and hopefully liking what comes next.
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That seems like quite a long time to wait for the sale of a house to close. But at least this gives you time to say your goodbyes to a place that holds a lot of sentimental value for you. I wish you good luck finding a new place to live that you will enjoy.
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That’s part of the reason I scheduled it out that far, along with the fact that it gives me more time to empty out the house while deciding what’s there I may want to move with me.
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Good luck as you enter this exciting period in your life! Great things ahead!!
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Ah, isn’t curiosity in the face of change a wonderful trait and treasure? Your energy leaps from the page 🙂
I too, have not written in some time, but I feel the burbling again.
May you have contentment
May you be safe
May you be healthy
And may your live your life with ease
I can’t wait for updates! Safe travels,
~SE
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Lots of exciting changes for you in my old home state. Good luck! – Marty
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You mean you’re a Michigander? If so, I can’t wait to pick your brain for recommendations!
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I am, but it’s been so long that I lived there that we were known then as Michiganians. I believe a 2017 legislative act changed it Michiganders. I grew up in Oakland County but moved away after graduating college in 1982. I come back periodically to visit relatives, but any recommendation from me is suspect. 😆
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I am new to your page, and I’m loving this new beginning you’re in, and the way you write about it. I’m excited for you. Wishing you all the best. Can’t wait for the next installment.
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I’m so glad that you’re putting yourself out there and finding your happiness. You deserve it!
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